Last Wednesday

June 14, 2010

This weekend? This weekend we got things done rather than just sitting around talking about getting things done. (Thanks, Knot, you scared me into activity.) It all started on Friday, during my lunch break, when I got over my fear of florists and called Laurie at Cottage Flowers on the recommendation of our wedding coordinator at the inn.

How I imagined that conversation going:
Patti: Hi, I’m calling to see about having you do flowers at my wedding.
Flower Person: Okay, when and where are you getting married?
Patti: June 4, 2011, at the Bar Harbor Inn.
Flower Person: Okay, well, our minimum charge for the month of June is $8,000 and we specialize in endangered lilies from Madagascar, you get 10 of them. We’ll need a $1,500 deposit and a vial of your blood by Tuesday, or we’re going to give the date away to someone else.
Patti: A vial of m-
Flower Person: BY TUESDAY OR WE GIVE THE DATE AWAY TO SOMEONE ELSE.

It turns out that Laurie, along with being one of the friendliest people I have ever spoken to, is creative and very reasonably priced. High from my florist booking, I decided to ride the momentum on to the two DIY projects that we’re undertaking for the wedding:* the ribbon table runners and the pinwheels we’ll be lining the aisle with.

Obviously, I hope, these projects are not completed. I mean, I’m pretty amazing, but I do not possess supernatural powers.

On Friday night I sat down with our room plan-o-gram and guest list and determined our maximum number of tables. I – are you ready for this? I did math. Willingly in my spare time.** I figured out how much ribbon we will need for the tables (and then I double-checked my work. And then, on Saturday, I had Spencer do the math and double-check his work.) I’ll write more about this at a later date and when we actually start working with the ribbon to get it assembled, but I’m still waiting for the color samples to arrive so that we can order the full 500 yards of ribbon we’ll need. Yeah. 500 yards of ribbon. I’ll let that sink in a little. I really just wanted to get that out there, because it’s so ridiculous. I can’t even comprehend 500 yards of ribbon to be honest – I’ll take pictures when it arrives. I’m hoping that when all is said and done, we’ll be able to clean it and donate it. (Otherwise the cats are going to have a lot of green, homemade toys of some kind.)

The pinwheels are the other big DIY project we’re doing for the wedding. Instead of flowers (sorry Laurie) we’re planning on trimming the aisle with pinwheels. Because the wedding is outside, I think it will provide some movement and an interesting dynamic to the aisle. Because we’re making them in our wedding pallet, they’ll be whimsical but still fit the theme.*** I estimated at the high end, that we’ll need ten aisle’s worth of pinwheels – one for each side of the aisle in each of two sizes – which means I’ve signed us up to make 40 pinwheels.

Later I made two more mock ups in colors closer to those we will be using. You know, from the 50lbs of spare scrapbooking paper I have laying around, since scrapbooking hasn’t really happened since I was in college. Why is it that everything that happens in college seems like it needs to be scrapbooked when you’re in college? Was I really that much more interesting 10 years ago? (OHMYGODIGRADUATEDFROMCOLLEGE10YEARSAGO? What The Fuck? )

I digress. We’re going to wait to assemble them until after we’ve shipped them to Maine. Because I’m smart and I know what happens when you put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a lunchbox with an unsecured thermos. (Yeah, that’s the metaphor I picked. Get used to it.) In the meantime I will be purchasing a yardstick, so I can mark the x’s on the 12” pinwheels; cutting slits in the paper, and we will need to paint the dowels and wrap them with ribbon. Phew.

Oh, and I addressed 30 of 72 save the dates. Are you proud?

Spencer asked me to pop a Xanex while he was sealing envelopes; it was probably the most difficult task of the day. I mean, his having to listen to me hyperventilate over how he was sealing envelopes. Thank god he loves me.

*Two is my limit. Mad props to people who DIY their entire wedding, I would have an aneurism.
**I do a lot of math at work, and I’m not actually bad at it: I’m pretty good with business math, because it’s money, which makes sense to me, but don’t get me started on fucking geometry. Geometry is the reason everyone thinks I a. hate math and b. am not good at math. Truth? I hate fucking geometry. Especially proofs. Hey, Mrs. Delvechio? NOT ONCE. Not once have I used a geometric proof in my professional or personal life. Thanks for wasting my time!
***I know, I deserve a good shaking. Theme? Gross. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

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