Alllll Byyyyy Myse-e-elf

August 20, 2010

My manager left for maternity leave today.

The ramifications of this are great. Not just because she’s my manager and because my workload just increased significantly, but because she’s my friend. She’s my best friend here in this god forsaken desert. I am going to be incredibly lonely in the office for the next three months. (No matter how bad a day is, Michelle can make me laugh.)

Adding insult to injury? Our lively, and friendly, intern left last week to return to school at Howard University. Sure, he’s returning to a senior year of hard work, exams, and (probably) some great parties – but he left me ALONE on our wall of the office. (Because the other seasoned employee on our side of the office has been on a temporary assignment in China for the last 4 months. And you know what? I think if they let him he’ll never come back.)

I’m thinking about renting out their offices. Possibly opening a brothel.

As if it couldn’t get worse – my best friend’s last day of work was Wednesday – he’s heading off to graduate school, which means he won’t have as much free time to text message me. It sounds dramatic, but this isn’t the first time he’s left me – he spent a few years playing piano on cruise ships with zero internet connection. We would go for months without talking. It could be different this time, what with his not being AT SEA and being on a college campus in San Francisco, but he’s stubborn AND HE DOESN’T HAVE A SMART PHONE.

Last, but not least, if all goes according to plan, in about 2 weeks Spencer will be heading off to Illinois for 3 weeks of training. 3 weeks. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping at all while he’s gone. (See, it’s okay for me to travel and sleep in hotels, but my sleeping alone in the house means that there is a rapist on the balcony, a serial killer hiding under the bed, and my OCD will kick into high gear causing me to check the locks (on the house and the car) at least 47 times a night.)

Things are about to get weird around here folks. I expect the updating to become more frequent. When it’s just me talking to a room full of critters, it gets strange, y’all.

p.s. I’ve written two very long, not at all funny posts in the last week. At some point I’m sure I’ll edit and post them, but tonight is not the night.

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