Better in Theory

September 27, 2010

I have a lot of ideas that are better in theory than in practice.
One I had recently is a direct result of my renewed interest in working out.* I was sitting on the sofa, thinking, “Wouldn’t it be cool if the weight you lost came off all in one place at one time like a box of butter?”

You know, but instead, like a box of fat? People could see it right away and compliment you on it. And the two pounds I’ve lost from a week of working out would be actually impressive instead of unnoticeable.

Then I realized that your clothes would fit funny.

And you would start to look like a Tetris block instead of a human.

Oh well, Maybe I could just start stacking empty butter boxes on my desk and be all, “Hey, that’s how much fat I’ve lost.”

p.s. You know they actually sell fat replicas, right?

*FYI, 8.5 months is exactly how far out from my own wedding I have to get to shit my pants over looking like a Weeble in the photos.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

SarahBeth September 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Last time I was losing weight (pre-baby) when the first 5 lbs, I went to the grocery store danced around with a bag of sugar.

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