‘Tis the season… for holiday-themed horror movies. Spencer won’t watch horror movies with me, so the weekend of Thanksgiving I celebrated on my own–a culmination of two of my favorite things: decorating the Christmas tree and horror movies. It was a good time.
Silent Night Deadly Night/Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
This year I started with Silent Night, Deadly Night and Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. I’m not even going to address these are separate movies, because part two spends ¾ of the movie with the younger brother of part one’s main character re-telling the original film to James Newman. Watching Silent Night Deadly Night (and its sequel) every year is a labor of love. These are not “good” movies. These are barely B-horror movie quality films. They are, however, so gloriously terrible that you can make jokes to yourself (and maybe your cats) while you watch them. These are not movies that I recommend you buy without previewing; I do not want to be blamed for you “wasting” money, but I will say that I watch them every year and for at least a week afterwards I admonish the cats with a throaty “NAUGHTY” when they misbehave. (There are three more sequels, which I didn’t own before today. Thank you, Amazon. $13, for all three? Yes, please.)
P2
P2 is a solidly terrifying film. It’s pretty much why I avoid eye contact with strangers when I’m alone in public and carry my keys like weapons. You should watch it. Wes Bentley has a seriously Crispin Glover vibe about him.* He’s also the kind of villain that you could almost feel bad for. Almost, but you know, not at all.
Black Christmas 1974/Black Christmas 2006
The original Black Christmas is in my top ten favorite horror movies of all time. (It may even be top five, I need to sit down and really think about that.) Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder, a time before cell phones, very nearly no blood, and a killer you never actually see. The last three minutes of the original film are so chilling that the first time I saw it, I could hear the last three minutes replaying in my head as I went to sleep for a week.
The remake is okay. It’s a solid, recent horror film. (The invention of the cell phone has done more to destroy suspension of disbelief in the horror film industry than any other invention in history – something we’ll talk about again when we get to “When a Stranger Calls.”) My biggest problem with the remake is that it falls victim to the same issue most horror remakes do – the new director/writer wants to tell you why they think that the villain is perpetrating the crime.
Now, in the movie Carrie this makes sense – it’s integral to your need to have sympathy for the title character it’s part of what makes the story engaging and intense. In most horror movies this information is a detriment. The original Black Christmas is terrifying because of what you don’t see, and what you don’t know. (I also argue this for the Halloween remakes, and the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, but we’ll talk more about that later, too.)
I’m sure that most people got what they were looking for when they went to see this movie, and it’s not bad, but relative to the original it’s a disappointment, and none of the actresses in the remake have the chops of those in the original. (And Michelle Trachtenberg isn’t nearly as hot as Olivia Hussey.)
Gremlins should probably be on this list, but Spencer has never seen it so I’m making him watch it this year. I can never decide where to file it – horror or comedy, but holiday? Definitely.
Next up: traditional holiday movies. We have nine more to watch in the next week: we’re a little behind on our viewing schedule this year. It’s a lot like cramming for a final, trying to get them all in.
*Speaking of Crispin Glover, is he feeding on the blood of virgins or what? He has looked the same since Back to the Future. (He did look younger on The Facts of Life and Family Ties though, I will say that.)