Wedding Wednesday

August 4, 2010

Oh, hey, did you know I’m getting married? I have somehow managed to forget about planning my wedding in the midst of one of my very best friends getting engaged and taking a vacation to Hawaii (more on both of those things another day). Actually, I managed to forget about it almost as soon as the right ribbon made it to my doorstep. Almost as soon as I was confronted with this:

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(Ted thinks this is just fabulous.)

I managed to get totally wound up in things other than the wedding. Kind of like a baby looking at a light on the wall. First we had Ted, whose “ringworm” just wasn’t going away (more on that another day, too), and our stationer got married herself so those projects were put on hold. Spencer got a new job that requires him to work long hours, and I spent weeks preparing for a job interview… for a job that I didn’t get. Then, in the midst of dealing with the reality of being stuck in Arizona for another year, I had numerous trips for work and then we had a vacation to Hawaii… and… well… the wedding? Seemed like a lot of work. It still seems like a lot of work.

Now is the time of hunkering down though, and of pulling up my oft-referred-to bootstraps. I am lucky in that I have some friends that are genuinely excited about our wedding, and that most everyone seems excited to attend it. It’s hard for me, being away from my entire family and opting not to have a wedding party (orchestrating such things from so far away seems pointless and like it would be a lot of work for everyone), so it’s especially nice when people ask how the planning is going and what decisions have been made. It’s especially nice when someone says, “I’m SO excited to come to your wedding!” — it makes me feel loved, and that’s a lot for the kid that usually felt like she was in the way.

We actually got our first wedding gift while we were in Hawaii. When we returned and grabbed the mail (which I had forgotten to put a stop on – sorry Tempe post master) we had a blue package slip from our rental office. I was a little surprised and said, “I didn’t order anything?” (To which Spencer responded, “Uh huh. Sure.”) I was more surprised when I got to the office and realized that the box was from JC Penny, one of the places we registered, and that the box was from my friend Kirstin, whom I have never met in real life, but have forged a friendship with over nearly a decade of blogging on another site. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried when I opened the box and saw the purple nesting colanders we picked out (and not just because they were the thing we needed most urgently – the washers on the handles of our old colander were plastic and had cracked, leaving the handles a wobbly mess) but because it was just so incredibly nice, this gesture, from all the way across the U.S. It was like a little beam of warmth, letting me know that people are genuinely happy for us and happy about the event.

Amidst all of the to do lists and deadlines for the wedding, and among the occasional complaint from a family member or guest, it’s easy to forget why we’re having the wedding. Not the part about loving each other, not that—the part where we want to share this event with the people who mean the most to us, that we want them there because they mean so much to us and that we’ll be honored by their attendance. When I’m feeling overwhelmed like I have been since I’ve started looking at the ever mounting piles of to-dos, it’s that thought that brings me back around.

That said I’m still not logging onto The Knot, I don’t care how many threatening emails they send me.

One down, so many more to go.
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Next Wedding Wednesday post? Why 28 months should be 12 months longer than a guest needs to plan to attend a wedding.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah August 4, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Ignore the haters! 99% of the people you know and love have been looking forward to your wedding since the day you got engaged. I’ll see you in Maine :)

Alison August 4, 2010 at 10:08 pm

I’ve been looking forward to it since I introduced you two! Woot!

Kirstin August 8, 2010 at 4:51 pm

I’m so glad you like the set (even though you totally picked it out so of course you’d like it.. but still). :*)

Jessica August 8, 2010 at 7:36 pm

This is late, but I always feel the need to speak my support of your choices/wedding plans when you voice that there are other guests who are not so civil. I’m pleased and honored to be involved in your wedding, whatever form the ceremony and celebration take. We of the clan of reasonable are simply looking forward to a spiffy party, spiffy dresses and a spiffy good time.

Patti August 8, 2010 at 8:34 pm

JJ, it’s probably wrong that the best part of your comment was receiving it and saying, “My god, WHO is Jessica and HOW is this spam so specific?!” I began laughing when I saw the email address and realized that I’m insane.

Thank you, all of you. We can’t wait for the wedding!

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