See this? This is what I’m supposed to be working on right now. Penmanship.
I know, right? Is this 8th grade honors English or what?
Unfortunately, my job got in the way tonight, and I wasn’t really able to work on it at all. Worse? I actually started working on this three months ago, and I was supposed to be working on addressing actual envelopes by now. If this were 8th grade honors English I would be in deep sh*t. It’s looking more and more like our save the dates will be mailed nine months out instead of a full year.*
Why am I even bothering? I have serviceable handwriting. I could just use a ball point and be done with it. Why not use a printer? Because wedding websites have scared me into believing that if I use a computer printer people will think our wedding stationary is a piece of marketing material.** Hiring a calligrapher is out. $1.25 an envelope? Are you kidding me? Are you using fairy tears for ink? I can’t believe I’m so concerned about handwriting.
Weddings make people care about crazy things. For some brides it’s the favors,*** for some it’s the details of the bridal party, and for some it’s trying so hard to not care and buck tradition that they wind up looking like every other “off-beat” wedding there is. It amazes me that for every bride competing to have the nicest, most conscientiously planned wedding there is a bride competing to have the least expensive, most non-traditional wedding you can imagine. For the record? All of it sounds ridiculous to people who are not planning weddings. Also, all of it kind of makes sense to people who are. Planning a wedding is like joining a cult, it’s easy to lose your sense of self and give away a lot of money.
Also, my 8th grade English teacher made us keep our notebooks in cursive. Three months ago I had to Google the cursive alphabet because I couldn’t remember how to make a capital Z (thanks, Zach for having a Z in your name). Actually, it turns out I did remember, but Spencer convinced me it was wrong. Why am I telling you this? I’m not sure, but I think it’s related to geometric proofs and the fact that I have never ever used them post-sophomore high school geometry class. I haven’t made a proper, cursive, capital Z since I was 13 years old. STOP WASTING MY TIME, MIDDLE SCHOOL. (Although, I suppose I’m using it now. And I’m getting pissed off all over again that there’s no left-handed slant to the paper for writing in cursive. STOP OPPRESSING ME RIGHT-HANDERS.)
Ultimately, I want people to show up, shed a tear watching us tie the knot, eat some delicious food, shake a tail feather, and enjoy the ocean view. But in the meantime I’ll forgo people talking smack about my handwriting.
*If nine months isn’t long enough for you to plan a trip, I’m sorry. (Also, how did we wind up being friends? It must be an “opposites attract” thing.)
**As someone who works in marketing I’m pretty hyper-aware that this is a real possibility.
***I actually saw a full-on argument about favors earlier this week. I’m not picking sides, I’m just saying it happens.
p.s. I finally found the “share” button on Flickr. User friendly my butt.
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Ms. Susi, and 8th grade English teachers around the country, would be proud to know that you’re using your creative writing for the greater good.