The DVD Project: Part 16; The Exorcist – French Kiss

June 14, 2012

Guys, I’m actually into the letter H at this point. I did not anticipate how quickly these would move once primetime television was reduced to the lifeless husk that is Summer Scheduling. (However, what am I watching that’s new? Franklin & Bash, Melissa & Joey, and Dallas.)

ex1 ex2
ex3 ex4
The Exorcist
Supposed to be the scariest movie of all time… for Catholics, I guess? I am, apparently, jaded. I really do enjoy this movie though—the acting and the plot are beautifully executed. I also really enjoy the family anecdote about my oldest sister sneaking in to see this movie underage and being terrified for months after.

Exorcist II: The Heretic
This is awful – amachine that lets other people see inside your head/dreams? Who’s the crazy one here?

Exorcist III
This is the Halloween III: Season of the Witch of the Exorcist film series. (Don’t worry, we’ll get there.) It’s kind of scary but in a crime detective way, not a super natural horror way. When stuff like this happens in a film series I think, “Why?”

Exorcist: The Beginning
The scariest of the four Exorcist movies I have seen.* It had terrible reviews, and I’m guessing that a lot of people feel about this movie the way I feel about the “reimagining” of Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween. (Oh, we’ll get there, too.)

Fahrenheit 911
Michael Moore, this is where we break up.

fear dot
Feat dot Com
It’s like The Ring, but it’s gone viral. It’s also not very scary, whereas The Ring made me want to take a hammer to all of my remaining VHS and VCRs. (Yeah, we’ll get to this, too.) Also, if you were wondering what Stephen Dorff was up to? This is it. If you weren’t wondering… you weren’t alone.

fear of the dark
Fear of the Dark (2003)
People in horror movies should listen to little kids. This is one of those movies where everyone looks like someone else who has been in something else, but they’ve mostly been in other terrible things that almost no one has seen. Honestly, the movie isn’t awful. It has some decent jumps and almost everyone can identify with being afraid of the dark.

Spencer mocks me for all of my 80’s television and movies and how there was always a lesson to be learned. Really? REALLY? I’m not even commenting on these fighting movies any more.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
This movie is a classic, but I’ve always had a problem with the end. Ferris says he would marry Sloane and then he stops to hit on two chicks tanning in a yard on the way home? Sleazy, Ferris, sleazy. Also of note: if you live in Chicago or the suburbs of Chicago, anytime you have visitors you are obligated to essentially take the Ferris Bueller tour of the city. It’s a good thing I like the art institute.

fifth ele
The Fifth Element
Eh. This movie gave a lot of girls a “creative”** ComiCon costume. I just don’t care about it.

final1 final2 final3
Final Destination 1-5
me: So, Final Destination 4 was THE Final Destination.. and then they came out with a fifth one. What is that? That’s like Friday the Thirteenth 5: The Final Chapter. LIES. Nightmare on Elm Street Part 73: This is the Last One, We Swear
Kelly: ROFL that would be an awesome title
me: What would be awesome is if that came out now and there was an asterisk that said *We’re going to work our way backwards now!

All kidding aside, watching all five of these in a row will make you scared of the following: crossing the street on foot, driving your car, doing the dishes, using a computer, eating, breathing, and blinking.

Finding Nemo
Disney really hates the nuclear family. I like Finding Nemo though, it’s cute.

fletch fletch lives
Fletch and Fletch Lives
My husband got 90% of his moves from the Fletch movies. Related: I really love these movies.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I like this movie so much that we actually saw it twice while it was in the theater. Jason Segel is pretty much a genius. And I want Kristen Bell to be my friend.

The worst part about this is that there is an entire series of these movies. If you are male and 15, or a stoner you will enjoy them. (I am guessing my husband was in the first camp when this film came into his life since he’s never used drugs. Although, he is claiming that Thumbtanic is the best one… I don’t know, maybe he’s had a blow to the head.)

Freaky Friday
One of the last movies Lindsay Lohan managed to make before totally destroying her life. I’m not a fan of Disney remakes. I am a fan of Jamie Lee Curtis.

French Kiss
This movie made me fall in love with Kevin Kline, and this is also when Meg Ryan was still America’s sweetheart. Before she had an affair with Russell Crowe, destroyed Dennis Quaid, and then destroyed her face. Mid-life crises: they aren’t just for men anymore.

*There is a fourth movie that I apparently didn’t know about? This will be rectified soon.
**In this context “creative” means “sexy”***
***And in this context “sexy” means “an excuse to wander around almost naked.”

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: