me: So, Colorado and Washington – do you think that their obesity numbers will go up?
Alison: lol - yes
me: I am genuinely curious about the statistical health analysis that could come from this
Alison: i wonder if there will be an increase in things like… memory loss.
me: I really want to make a fb status about it, but all the hippies will get riled up.
Alison: lol.
me: WEED DOESN’T CAUSE LUNG CANCER! WAAAAAHHH Um, actually, we don’t know if it does because getting people to admit they habitually use an illegal substance is difficult.
Alison: of course it does! everything causes cancer. people are dumb.
me: I have chosen my cancer. Diet Coke.
Alison: ditto. we obvs need GMO labeling for diet coke.
me: jfc - You know what my only problem with GMO is?
Alison: that it’s dumb? that butterflies cross pollinate?
me: patent monopoly - that’s it
Alison: yeah.
me: You can’t own the design of corn, yo
Alison: GOD OWNS IT. OMG.
me: No Doubt. CAN ANYONE OWN CORN, ALISON? I MEAN, REALLY.
Alison: a native american? orville reddenbocker?
me: Ooooo, smooth - Monsanto should be tithing to the tribes.