I didn’t work out this morning. Something about being woken up at 1:30 this morning by a howling Maine Coon/Siamese mix who wanted to tattle on one of his sisters for making a mess in the hallway, struggling to get back to sleep and being woken again, at four a.m., by a text from Spencer letting me know he was going to be home late* didn’t lend itself to having the energy to bounce around my living room like a squirrel on crack. So, this week, Friday is my day of rest.
Yesterday, while I was working out, I felt myself kind of going through the motions when I accidentally tripped over my own feet and almost died. (Okay, that’s probably an exaggeration, but I did come very close to taking out an eye and I bet that would have hurt a lot.) Anyway, I realized that my B12 is low and I wasn’t pushing myself as hard as I should and decided to employ my newest workout motivation secret.
Train as though you’re training for a zombie apocalypse.
That’s right, while you’re doing your jabs and kicks and upper cuts imagine that it’s your only chance for survival and that you’re sinking a bat into some gooey zombie flesh.
The idea came to me while I was doing step aerobics free step and watching an episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead on the DVR. I thought to myself, “You know, working out is great for my heart and will help me live longer but when the time comes for the zombie invasion it will also ensure that I can outrun those bastards… and the smokers.”**
I know that it may seem a little overzealous to plan like this but, honestly, I watch a lot of horror movies and I like to have a game plan.
Another helpful tip: when in a public restroom always go for the middle stall, that way you have two exits at the bottom. If there’s an ax murderer (or a flesh and brain hungry zombie) coming at you from one side you’re going to be thankful that you have another way out. This is actually a major gripe I have about our bathroom stalls at work – there’s only a two inch gap at the bottom of the stalls. It’s like they want us to die.
*It’s now been made clear that I wake up at 5:10 and that texting before 5:10 is probably a bad idea.
**I know some very nice smokers, but don’t think I won’t leave you in the dust and get myself out of harm’s way while they eat your wheezing ass. Consider it your sacrifice for all the second hand smoke you’ve exposed me to.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
“Train as though you’re training for a zombie apocalypse”
I am not even joking when i tell you this is why i train as hard as i do. when kev asked me what i was training for since i wasn’t competing, and i wasn’t going to do shows- the only answer i had for him was “in case something catastrophic happens”. i only told him later what i was really training for…. we have since added jumps and pullups; walls are pretty high sometimes hahahaha
you should add some plyometrics to your workouts for burst energy- it’ll help you pull ahead of the pack before you have to even pace. that initial burst will be life and death.
pff, fine. i’ll be smoking and shooting the zombies. jerk.